On both Tinder and Bumble I laid everything out upfront with a profile that read, “Single and pregnant via sperm donor.
I was ready to be a mom and hadn’t found the right guy, so I went ahead without him. ” Hinge made matters a bit more complicated, providing no space to write any sort of custom bio or information, so with suitors there I would actually have to tell my matches after they had already decided they were into me.
Men who want to date but aren’t interested in committing come clean with their intentions right away, saving me potential months of agonizing over why my new suitor won’t let me meet any of his friends or answer my texts in a timely fashion.
And then there are the totally clueless, confused men who ask questions like “Um, are you even allowed to have sex while pregnant? ” I don’t think I need to explain why I’m happy to avoid those ones.
When I wrote my first essay for FLARE, about my decision to become a single mom by choice, someone commented on the Facebook post that I “could have found someone…”, and a large number of my DMs and emails have centered around the question, “Aren’t you afraid you’ll be alone forever?